The Magic Words

A parent talking to a toddler will sometimes insist that they use the “magic words”: please and thank you. As leaders, we probably don’t use those words nearly enough. But we all know that there are many situations that call for something a little more nuanced.

One of the most frequent requests I get, both as a leadership development consultant and as an executive coach, is for help with giving feedback. It’s an important skill set--and a difficult one to acquire. There is one simple hack, though, that can make your feedback more effective right away. It’s this sentence:

“I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”

For a simple sentence, there’s a lot packed in there. There is caring and affirmation, but there’s also accountability. Most importantly, there’s a growth mindset embedded in every word. Of course, there’s a lot more to skillful feedback than this one canned phrase, but it’s surprising how far you can go by using it as your frame.